sarahbeth07

12:24am: one year
a year ago yesterday something extremely important happened. i still haven't fully decided whether or not this is for the better or not. somedays i'm glad it's over with and sometimes i wish it had never happened. the only certainty is that i think about it, even if only for a moment, everyday. it's not fair, the cards we're dealt sometimes. i know in some ways we bring it upon ourselves, but the other people involved, and those that shouldn't even have an impact but seem to force themselves upon you are the ones that seem to hurt you the most... just because they can.

12:29am: today i waited in line for several hours with ian, jenny, and brandon so that the boys could get a wii. i'm cold and tired, and i didn't stay the entire time, but it was actually kind of fun.



INSTRUCTIONS:
write ten statements,
intended to different people.
never tell which one is to who
things you've always wanted to tell people.

i wrote eleven.

1. you're an incredible person, really. i love having you for a friend because we can be so spontaneous and loud and crazy. you accept all the ridiculous things i say, and take them in stride. our conversations seem to stay on a certain level though. sometimes i feel like you don't see me as the type that you can actually talk to, even though i would love to hear your opinions on actual serious things, rather than just our animated, funny talks. i also feel as though you don't completely trust me sometimes, though i've done nothing to my knowledge to make you doubt me. basically, i'm so glad we became friends and i guess i just value you enough that i wish we talked more.

2. i'm a pretty good judge of character.. and usually when i meet someone i can tell right off whether or not they are a complete douche bag. the moment i met you i thought "k, fuck this guy." but i saw you nearly everyday at school so i decided to give you the benefit of the doubt... big mistake. you are the biggest jerk i have ever met. i don't know if i hate anyone, but if i do, then you're the person. you're the ugliest individual that i've ever met, both inside and out.

3. i adore you. you're the one person that i know i can call and feel better. i don't know what i'd do without you. you're my best friend in the entire world. furthermore, you are the sweetest person i've ever met. i've never heard anyone have anything bad to say about you. i miss you and love you so so much. i sometimes feel that i don't do enough in our friendship, but i hope you understand that i would do anything for you. i have no idea what direction my life is headed, but i do know that whatever happens, you'll be there supporting me along the way, like you always have.

4. you're awesome. i love hanging out with you. i wish we both could make more time to spend together, but i'm grateful for the time we do have. you've been a huge part of my life since freshman year and i hope that you continue to be. i know you'd do anything to help me and i hope you know i feel the same way in regards to you. you're truly an incredible girl.

5. i've known you my whole life. you're the best confidante/sister/friend ever. even though you're older, we've always had the best relationship. i love you unconditionally. you've always been my biggest fan and i appreciate it so much. <333

6. oh tottie, i know we met through my sister, but we've been friends pretty much since we met. you're an azn broad and i love it. you're the only girl during the whole 4 years of highschool that jennifer got along with, and you're my other big sister. mooooooooose tracks. love, cookie.

7. you really are a manipulative asshole. i hate your actions. i hate the way you make me feel. i hate that we were ever close. you have the ability to be a nice guy and choose not to. you can't stand it when anyone sticks up for themselves... that's the main reason we started having problems: i was the first girl to really call you on your shit. and you still resent me for it. well, fuck you. you're an idiot and if you continue your current behavior, you won't have any friends much longer. i'm surprised you still do.

8. you're such a cutie. i knew who you were for almost 2 years before we became friends. and to be honest, i really only started talking to you because i knew it would piss a certain person off that was with us that night.... only after about 5 minutes into the conversation i realized how cool you were and completely forgot about him/her. we started hanging out after that and now you've become one of my closest friends. sometimes i tease you because you're younger, but really i think of you sort of as a little sister, and i'll try my best to not let anyone hurt you.

9. you're hilarious. our humor mixes so well together. you can say something completely off the wall and i can follow it perfectly and vice versa. we've gradually gotten closer throughout highschool but this year especially we've become better friends. i like the fact that we can talk about anything no matter how serious or stupid it is, and it seems like the most important thing in the world at the time.

10. you've really let me down lately. we have done such a good job over the years of staying close, but the past few months, you've neglected our friendship to the point that i feel you don't even care about me anymore. i miss you, but i'm not going to wait around forever while you decide whether or not i'm worth your time. fuck that.

11. i miss you so much. enough that i made an extra number on here, just so i could tell you.. on the slim chance that you might read it. we've lost touch some lately but i still get the feeling that you care. we've definitely had our ups and downs over the years, but you've always been a constant in my life. this year has been hard for you and i respect the way you've handled yourself. i love you.

10:23pm: random thoughts that have no meaning
have been reading bridget jone's diary again lately. have decided to start calling guys fuckwits,

am spending too much money on scratch off-lottery tickets,

think i am going prematurely senile... yesterday walked into same room 5 times and could not remember reason,

seem to be developing more shoulder freckles in my sleep,

fell off of couch today while attempting to pick remote up from floor... looked like douche bag,

had a dream last night about gene wilder,

at walmart today was with my niece and talking to woman in checkout who presumed niece was my child and told "i don't look a day over 20." that's good considering i'm barely fucking 18...

as a result, am considering using anti-wrinkle cremes from now on.. it's good to start young,

i had the hiccups for over an hour this morning and then again for about 20 minutes this afternoon, making me decide that hiccups are one of life's little cruelties

when i get married i'm going to establish a certain day of the week with my significant other as "taco day" so that when he says "what are we doing today?" i can roll my eyes and say "it's thursday, darling. we're having tacos." .....

that is not entirely factual i suppose.... i would never call my spouse 'darling'... and who knows if taco day would be on thursday... but you get the idea none the less,

when deborah gets REALLY REALLY angry she starts muttering to herself about "shit-fire" [only it sounds more like shyyyyt-faaaaar] and i can't help but laugh at her, which only makes the situation worse

anyway, i'm going to go watch a movie. happy birthday jenny. i love you.

11:24am: whateva
k so i'm not in the mood to write a normal entry. instead i feel like writing various memories/quotes/inside jokes that i remember and laugh about and people look at me like i'm retarded..


"i saw you in the vehicle." (guns)

"GIT IN! GIT IN"

late night picnic-table dances.

"isssh micka time!!"

when jenny like broke my hand over a pair of capris (that were mine)

orange glow.

drawing pictures everyday in spanish class.

"i <3 wripped pants."

stealing bikes from people you've met like 4 times and bedazzling said bike with your best friends.

^trying to be clever and write "i'll steal your honey like i stole your bike" on their car in window paint and then wait to see their reaction... but end up hiding in a parking lot with best friends for an hour.

"ARE YOU GUYS SISTERS?!?" -me, madelyn, and tracey.

random drives.

bitch black.

ape-wild slinky in basketball town.

"i like your dance moves."

steam-rollers.

moooooose tracks!

"that clock is ticking me off."

"costa rica did it!"

storm chasers.

chocolate laxatives.

ZATARANNNS!

anything that takes place at perkins... "attention perkins cooks, waiters, and seating hostesses. i need a refill of diet pepsi. k thx. bye." and the painting... and the stain on the wall. etc..

when maddy and i bought all those jones soda pops and went to the football game with blue mouths.

the cute gum chewer, "write down everything he says!"

"someone push my fatass up!"

when kayla rode out the sunroof the day after new years wearing that hat and blowing that horn yelling happy new year at like 5 p.m. in a really nice neighborhood.

repeatedly driving by the lake because there's nothing else to do.

dancing in the rain.

frying food at like 3 in the morning at mandy's house.

paddy o malley's.

air-horns/bike-horns.

prankcalls.

"shabonk shabonk."

getting frisked for being at a playground too late.

l337.

when we were eating pizza in colin's garage and i tried riding a bike, and rachel went out in the rain by herself.

color game.

^how no one wants me to lose.. haha.

writing all over mandy's back in sharpie.



k so deb and jenny want to go somewhere... so i guess i'm done... holla.

9:31pm: nothings.
hahahaha, wouldn't it be funny if my mood really was flirty? (i just winked at the computer screen out of spite.)



so i made a little slideshow thing for my myspace.. yea it's been a while since i updated on here.. i gave in, and got a new myspace. i know, i hate me too. but yea after i made the thing i didn't feel like putting it on my myspace, so i'm putting the link to it on here for the 1 or 2 people that may stumble across it and be so bored as to waste about 2 minutes of their life watching a pointless slideshow. just click on the part that says view..it's a lot of nothing. as are most slideshows, unless you're someone interesting... like michael jackson... but no one really wants to watch a slideshow of him anyway.





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| View | Add Favorite

10:46pm: bored
1. What is your Full name: sarah elizabeth oaks
2. What color trousers are you wearing now: teal-blue vs sweat pants, black tank top
3. What are you listening to right now? ben folds
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 54
5. What was the last thing you ate: pasta
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? hot pink?
7. How is the weather right now: umm, it's warm, and dark
8. Last person you talked to on the phone: mandy
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex: teeth/eyes
10: Do you like to dance? YES
11. Favorite Drink: diet soda
12. Favorite Alcoholic drink: umm paddy o malleys or sex on the beach
13. Favorite place to shop: gap, old navy, urban outfitters, victoria's secret
14. Hair Color: reddish.. a little blonde
15. Eye Color: blue.
16. Do you wear contacts: yes sir
17. Top or bottom? haha, it took me like 3 minutes to understand this one..
18. Favorite Month: december.
19. Favorite Food: potatoes
20. Last Movie you Watched: clueless
21. Favorite Day of the Year: september 12 or december 25 or january 1
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out: yes
23. Summer or Winter: winter because of the clothes..
24. Hugs or Kisses?: yes plz.
25. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla.
26. Do you want your friends to respond back: sure
27. Who is most likely to respond: Kayla?
28: Who is least likely to respond: Jenny.
30. What books are you reading: uh... Cosmo
31. What's on your mouse pad: it's just navy
32. Favorite Board Game: clue
33. What did you do last night: played softball with my church like a BAMF
34. Do you have a crush? uh sure
35. Who inspires you: oprah..
36. Favorite candy: candy cigs
37. Buttered, plain or salted popcorn: buttered.
38. Favorite Flower: daisy
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? "kelsey get out of my room."
40. Do you still talk to your best friend from high school? uh duh.
41. Pets: DOGS.. and the coolest fish ever.
42. Rock Concert or Symphony: rock concert.
43. Play or Opera: play...
44. Have you ever fired a gun: i've fired a BB gun.
45. Do you like to travel by plane?: of course
46. Right-handed or Left-handed: right-handed.
47. Smooth Peanut Butter or Chunky Peanut: smooth.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with: umm... like 4 or 5... but i can do with 2
49. City & State you were born in: Nashville, Tennessee.
50. What do you drive? blue 2004 tiburon

6:35pm: sup summer
i've been hanging out with a random assortment of people lately...
and it's fun.

but at the same time, i miss some of the people i used to hang out with a lot.
we always had a good time, doing absolutely nothing.

for the past week and a half i've had that weird feeling like you get when you're forgetting something important.. except it just won't go away.

i feel like traveling. to europe. and new york. and florida. and california. and illinois. and jamaica. and the bahama. and anywhere else. i don't care as long as it's not clarksville. or any part of tennessee. i want out. that's all i want.

10:49pm: bffzzz.
the rate at which friendships change is freaking insane.
i don't even understand it.

it's impossible to try.

but some people are so immature that i just want to give them a good smacking and tell them to shut the hell up.

k i'm done.

6:10pm: today kristen and i hung out by the pool for hours...

i'm such an irish kid. she sat there with her spf 4/tanning oil...

and i would lather up with spf 50 like every hour.








IL on wednesday.

it better be good.

(i know it will be.)

2:36am: blah.
random:

the best part of summer is watching abc family.

i think i'm going bald. my ponytail keeps feeling smaller and smaller.

i want to learn how to double-dutch.

my mom has this little plaque in here that says "grow where you're planted."

i don't agree with that. sometimes i think you have to choose where you want to be 'planted.'

why are cuban cigars illegal? what's the difference?

my nose was running and my eyes were itchy so i took some medicine. i feel better, but i don't think i'll be sleeping anytime soon. it's 2:49.

on this day in 1932 Goofy made his debut. sup disney trivia.

we're out of gatorade. i think i'll make deb take me to Sam's Club tomorrow.

last night i had a dream entirely about pi. yea, like 3.14...

when i get older i'm going to have this huge map of the world and i'm going to put tacks in all of the places that i've been.

someone should teach me how to irish folk dance. or how to do the charleston.

my lips are chapped.

i'm thinking that half of my backyard needs to be sectioned off into a private beach.. because i want to be able to walk in the sand.

if someone would like to come over and watch disney movies or musicals or any type of genre they are more than welcome to.

k. i'm going to go watch vh1. maybe they'll have the funny music videos on since it's late.

love.

6:39pm: hot in hurr
i thought global warming was this huge issue...

if that's the case, then why won't my pool get hot enough for me to swim in it without feeling like i will go all 'jack in titanic' after like 5 minutes?

gay.




since i no longer have a myspace i feel the need to get on this stupid thing every few hours. but it's def. not the same. and typing on it, only increases my want for another 'space.

12:36am: ...
i'm not a liar. i'm not stupid. i'm not disrespectful. i'm not spoiled. (any more than the next person) i'm not ungrateful. and i'm not selfish. how dare you for telling me that i am.




but most of all, for you to tell me that i'm not my own person... you're ridiculous. my personality is my own. and it's a strong one at that.




i love you, and you know that. but i don't understand any of this.

6:43pm: i just want this whole mess to be over.

10:36pm: yeaaah...
i'm sick of being yelled at. and i'm tired of being blamed for other's people's problems. if you're having issues, then work them out for yourself. don't come to me and tell me it's my fault. don't point out MY faults and tell me i'm a terrible person. i'm not. and no matter how many times you tell me i am... i still won't believe you. because i know i'm better than that.

12:02am: i had to delete my myspace.
and i was supposed to go to IL tomorrow.... but i'm not anymore.

thx hackers.
die plz.






-sincerely-
sarah

7:54pm: i'm so bored.
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
HAHAHAHAHA. well there was this one time.. on a playground late at night. and we were all playing and the cops thought we were high/drunk... so we had to line up and get get frisked...
haha good times.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
i try not to. but sometimes my eyes water.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
oh wow... it's been a while.. i think i still lived in IL

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
someone because i'm afraid of the dark

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
yeah i guess

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
i can make things pretty... but i'm not creative compared to a lot of people

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
yes, most likely

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
well... jennifer aniston i guess.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
i know a little... i'd have to after being around ian and my dad.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
yes, and i like to bid with make-up. haha

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
yes and i was bitchy afterwards

12. What's your favorite commercial?
the subway one with jon lovitz

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you drive through a red light?
i have before

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
everyone does

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
how about STL cardinals?

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
yes, i suck

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
pretty often

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
this weekend with deborah

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
lucy in the sky with diamonds, i want to hold your hand, let it be, can't buy me love, penny lane... that was so easy

21. What's the one thing on your mind?
i'm thirsty

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
no.. that's stupid

23. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is?
nopei think it's that guy from the howard stern show... yea, but i may be way off.

24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
yes. unlike mandy.

26. Do you like Sushi?
no

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
yes

28. What do you wear to bed?
usually pajama pants/sweatpants and a tanktop

29. Have you ever been caught stealing?
no. i don't steal. but one time this douche bag put a bob dylan cd in my purse at starbucks and didn't tell me until we got outside and he was all like "hey thanks, can i have my cd?"

30. Does size matter?
hahaha, oh wow.

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
i hope not.. but i REALLY don't like a few people.

32. Rock or Rap?
all music

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
johnny depp or justin bartha or rupert grint if it had to be legal

34. Do you know anyone in jail?
all my homies............................no, no i don't.

35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
yes. i'm kickass

37. What food do you find disgusting?
a lot of vegetables.. roast..

38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
hahahahahah yes. in like preschool.

39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
yeah. everyone has. it would be a lie to be all like "omg i would never do that." when you get mad.. you say shit you don't mean.

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes

41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
not intentionally. HAHAHA once though, i punched mandy in the face and it was soooo good. i didn't do it that hard. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2:51pm: sup kentucky
so... the 'rents decided we needed to get away for the weekend. and they dragged me to kentucky to some lodge. basically i'm the least outdoorsy person alive... but it was still pretty funny i guess... deborah turned into a myspace whore... and started taking pictures of herself with my camera like 24/7. in conclussion... so she made it better. anyway...PICTURES.



yea.. okay so the view from the balcony wasn't so bad.

this would be deborah... taking pics after we went shopping on saturday..

"sarah, i just pretended to be asleep but i really wasn't. HAHAHAHA"

<3333

then we went on adventure... and follwed the DG signs.




THEN WE SAW THIS...

AND THIS.

and finally we found it. all that searchiong was leading up to this: GLORY.

that's right.. it's a DG warehouse. i know. we were excited too.

anyway..

HAHAHA. look at Deb's wicked amounts of hairspray.

deb-"I"M SOOOO MYSPACE."
me-"why?"
deb"i just did a peace sign."

love her.

my contact came out. so deb felt the need to document it.

then i got bored. so deborah let me give her a hip new look. it was hot.




this is my F U to nature. mosquitoes were biting me and i wanted to go home. (btw, that's a bubblegum cigarette.)

she just couldn't let go of that peace sign...

i'm out.
love.

7:55pm: the past few days have been so confusing.
i am no longer trying to make sense of situations.
life is what you make of it.
the end.

9:15am: first day of college...sort of.
so... right now i'm at austin peay with my sister.
she's in class... and i'm in the computer lab in the claxton building i think.
not that it matters.
but just so you know.
... i like this keyboard.
it's easy to type with..
i just sat in on my first college class.
it was pretty boring actually.
and not hard in the least.
of course, it was geography, but still.
i took notes for my sister while she did some of her math homework...
and it was pretty apparent that i was one of the only ones paying attention.
hahahahaha, flashback to high school.
i also had time to do a rough sketch of her professor in the top corner of the paper,
so she can look at him whenever she wants.
i'm jut THAT GOOD.

in a couple of hours we leave to go get mandy.
i'm so excited.
i was up until after 1:30ish last night...
PACKING.
and then Deb got me up at 6:30.
but i'm running on adrenaline right now so it's all good.
:)
i can't wait to dance in the car with my sister, see mandy, let hannah and mandy meet,
and finally.....
GO TO FLORIDA.
yes. freaking yes.
i'm so happy.
i hope everyone else has an amazing week while i'm gone.
<3333333
and yea, the air-brush tan looks good.

10:10am: ...flash the message SARAH'S out there... oh ian&jenny.
jenny and i go get mandy tomorrow.
i am so happy.
YAY.
packing... is not what i expected.
normally, i love to pack.
but last night i went up to my room with armloads of my clothes...
and it just wasn't fun.
it was work.
i gave up after about 15 minutes.
so tonight will suck.
but meh, oh wellz.

it's pretty sad when you're so pale that your DAD suggests an air-brush tan.
thx.
i better not come out of this looking orange, pops or we will have some issues.
man oh man.

hannah and i bought mandy some gifts for her birthday last night.
they are in one word... AMAZING.
i want them.
hahahaha.

yea...
so that's all for right now.
i love you all.
have a great day.
yesterday was wonderful. :)
tonight will consist of trying on clothes and packing more than i need.
and tomorrow... GLORY.
<3333 love.

7:05pm: oh i'm charming.
florida.
soo freaking soon.
jenny and i go get mandy on friday.
i'm pretty much about to die from excitement.
I'LL BE ON A PLANE SATURDAY. :)


so today.... i fell SOOO BAD. in a PARKING LOT. like, i'm meaning... wiped out... it's number 2 on my top 5 worst falls in my life. hahahahaha. i'm so glad i'm graceful. seriously, momz and popz. thx for making me so uncoordinated, i swear people probably think i'm drunk the way i stagger about. yea well... i'm not. i'm just the clumsiest person in the world. for realzzz.

2:56pm: sup at you mall, BFFL
today was pretty much the best day of my life.. shopping wise. haha.
i love Deb. basically, my mom and i go shopping everyday or every other day now.
and today i asked her what dad was going to say when he figured it out,
and she just smiled all sly like and said,
"he doesn't look at the credit card receipts."
what a vixen. if she wasn't my mom i'd date her. oh Deb. <3.

a little recap...
4 pairs of earrings, 3 necklaces, 8 bracelets, 2 watches, 4 pairs of panties, 1 belt, and 5 pairs of sunglasses. hahaha. i hate me too.

tomorrow i think i'll convince Deb we need shoes.
yea, sounds good.
and i want a big purse.
you know, like almost a beach bag it's so huge.
that's what i need.

if anyone would like to bring me a snickers bar right now i think i would be your best friend. k thx bye.

p.s. i get to hang out with hannah stephens later on MAYBE. good times. <333
p.p.s. i am officially being home-schooled. starting today.

1:44pm: oMgZzZz
and i just took the coolest shower ever.
because hannah stephens put purple in my hair last night.
so when i shampooed it today....
the water was PINK.

i wish ever shower had pink water.

12:06pm: ramblings...
i have an addiction to electronics.
atleast... my digital camera...
and all its splendor.

p.s. late night phone calls with mandy and hannah are hot.
ohhh baby. :)




hahaha.
i just had to pause in this entry to dance with kelsey.
she likes motion city soundtrack apparently.
smart baby.

i don't really have much to say,
except i love everyone.
and i hope you had a great day.
and if you didn't...
smile because i love you.
or someone does i'm sure.
:) haha, no i'm kidding.
if you're reading this then i'm sure i love you.

oh and, i'm going to florida soon.
so, yea that's like the best news ever.
and now i must go....
a cute little kid wants me to read her the bernstein bears.
and you know i can't turn down a classic.
-love.

11:15pm: peace.
my head is a jumble of questions.
even i don't understand them.
i'm happier now in some ways...
than i have been in a long time.
yet... i also feel like something just isn't right.
and then i think about all the people out there with real problems.
and i feel so selfish.
i'm just now starting to feel well again, and i'm so thankful to have my health back.
we all take things for granted...
really we do.
we're vain, and defiant, and rude...
just because we can be.
we've been taught that it's okay to crush other's feelings.
but it's not. and i hate it.
yes, hate.


life is short.
laugh until your sides ache and your mascara runs.
hug your loved ones.
someday you won't be able to.
spin around in circles. just for fun.
DANCE. SING. JUMP. PLAY. LOVE.
be silly. be a kid.
take chances. make mistakes.
be willing to fix said mistakes to the best of your ability.
when it gets warmer, look at the stars.
hold hands.
don't hide who you are.
from anyone.
it's okay to be crazy.
and it's okay if you mess up...
be obnoxious.
when the time is right.
but be strong and caring if needed.
above all...
be a friend.
love all around you.
no matter how insignificant they are.

peace.